A look back. Sometimes a lack of sleep works wonders.

We often delude ourselves, don't we?

Nothing is ever what it really seems, or if it is… we never believe it.

People are foolish. They either believe what you tell them, because they want it to be true.

Or because they fear it is…

There is one thing I know…

I know what I have control over,

And what I don't….

But none the less I find myself day in and day out slamming my head against the proverbial wall in countless failed attempts to break through

But the jokes on the wall… Every slam brings a fresh crack to the bindings that separate.

Water cuts a swath through earth given enough time. Boulders become pebbles to its madness, mountains wither and crumble from the wind and rain… All things are possible given enough time.

But time is kind of fickle… Everyone says 'it seems like only yesterday'… but what happens when you start losing grasp of when yesterday was…

I see three types of people… Those who look forward, Those who look backwards, and those who enjoy the moment… I'm still not sure which I am… Some days I look forward with hope, back with pride and around with joy… others I have trouble remembering, planning or thinking. Is that strange at all?

Anyway… I've been reading an exponential amount lately, mostly my same old kind of stories… You know, the dragons, swords, beautiful women being wooed by heroic deeds… I know its rather geeky, but hey… How many other people in this day and age really read because they enjoy it? I figure… why not… it's a calming escape….

And it slows down the random thoughts and replaces them with far off places that I'd never otherwise imagine or see, things I'd never get to do and feats I could never accomplish…

Nevertheless, I sometimes seem too find too much of myself in the characters, which is neither good nor bad I assume… but strange.

Have you ever gone back and re-read a book, maybe a month later, year later, 10 years… Was it the same book? Or did you notice new things, feel different from events, have any changes in opinion to what was happening? I know that it happens to me frequently…

You can never read the same book twice…

I was told that once

I didn't really understand at the time… but I think I get it now

Every book you read, you respond to it… they pull emotions and bits of your soul out, and lay them on the page for you to view them better… they change your mind dealing with experiences you've had, actions and things you've witnessed… but once you finish the book, time continues.

In a month, you've had new life experiences, new things have happened, new moods and emotions and new thoughts… if you were to go back and read the book again, it would be the same story viewed by different eyes…

Thus…

You can never read the same book twice…

It's a nice little thought about life as well… You can never be the same person twice, enjoy the same day twice, be who you are now… twice.

Drink up me hardies… Yo-Ho